[archived] IC ✿ Journal

[upcard]

Liminal Space

Leonardo-san gave me this beautiful journal... he said that he knows that I don't remember things very well because of my amnesia, and that if I keep track of things in here, maybe it will be better. I'm really grateful to him for it--it's a really beautiful journal, and I did always keep a diary at home.

Sometimes it scares me to think I could forget everything again in a Jaunt, or... even worse, so I'll keep really careful track of what happens here, so maybe that won't happen. And...maybe it will come in handy somehow someday.

I know for sure that I'm really lucky that everyone is always looking out for me so much, so I definitely don't want to let them down.

But I guess I should sum up what happened before this point, just so I can remember that too.

When I first arrived, Liminal Space looked like a playground, almost. It was all bouncy castles and things...Ukyo-san was there too, that's where we met up again. I met a lot of people for the first time there as well. And then my first Jaunt was this strange school. We couldn't go outside of the walls because of radiation. I was an Infiltrator, so I couldn't remember anything about myself... instead, I thought I had lived there all my life, and I was the manage of the Ground, a coffee shop there. We fought really hard to save it, and somehow we succeeded... I'm not sure why, but it felt good? I feel as though we did something important, even though it doesn't sound important now that I write it here...

After that we ended up back in Liminal Space again, but this time it was a bunch of mirrors and rooms... I didn't get to explore very much, because Other Ukyo-san tried to kill me again. He sounded really sad and upset, and he said it was "self-defense"... I'm not sure why, but I hope I haven't done anything terrible to him. I just can't remember. Everyone took care of me, though, and I was okay.

Then we ended up on another Jaunt on the ocean. Other Ukyo-san was an Infiltrator this time, but he saved me from drowning and brought me onto a pirate ship. It was a really difficult Jaunt, especially when the Kraken showed up, but the merpeople really were beautiful... I'm glad that I was able to see so many beautiful sights, even if it was really scary too.

When we got back to Liminal Space, it was also really beautiful. It was all metal, but sort of like an abandoned amusement park...but I didn't feel scared. Liminal Space is safe, after all, and everyone else was there. So it was just...really pretty. Some of the metals made things a little weird, like when Tim-san was acting strange, but I'm really glad it all wore off. I'm glad that we always have Liminal Space as a safe place, after all. It's almost like a place to come home to, even though it always changes.

Our next Jaunt was a modern day place! We were in America, but either way it was really familiar to me. I was able to take Saitou-san for ice cream and take Chizuru-san shopping--I'm really glad! It was a lot of fun, though... then I couldn't remember anything after that. I'm a little worried about it, but... it sounds like the Jaunt wasn't a very good one. I wonder what happened to me, and to all of us...?

Liminal Space was kind of scary too. It was like a broken down town, but weird things kept happening to everyone, too. I ended up trapped in a room for awhile, without doors... but then Levi-san found me and watched out for me, and I felt better with him there, even if he was really small for awhile. Then Liminal Space changed again, and... that was even scarier. I found Okita-san and Okita-san doing something scary with a strange tower and I tried to stop them, but... it didn't really go well. I guess I'm glad Okita-san didn't actually kill me, but he was really scary... I guess I shouldn't have done too much.

The next Jaunt was really confusing...it was a dance, but I think it was really political. I wasn't very helpful in it, and I think I actually caused a lot of trouble for people like Saitou-san and Hijikata-san, but... Okita-san apologized, at least... he kissed me too, but maybe the Jaunt was just making him act strange?

Either way, after that, Liminal Space was a strange tree, with a lot of mistletoe on it. There were a lot of kisses there, too, and it was kind of awkward, but...we had to, to escape those strange bubbles! Thankfully, Armin-san was around to save me from falling, too... and after that, Liminal Space ended up kind of strange and metallic, with trains, and money on trees... but I didn't explore very far.

I forgot everything again for the Jaunt. It was in a place called Harrogate, and I was a thief... things got really scary there. There were people trapping us in the theater, and there were murders, and... and I don't know still what happened for the most part, I do know that it was scary. Chizuru-san was even worse off than I was, and that makes me sad...Chizuru-san only deserves the best, after all. I don't know if I want to remember everything this time...

It was after that that we ended up in this Liminal Space and Leonardo-san gave me this journal. I'll try to keep track of everything from now on as we experience it. Hopefully I can just... hold onto this notebook no matter what happens from now on. I definitely don't ever want to forget things again.

Jaunt

I really wish I knew the date so I could date my journal entries, but... it's impossible to tell here.

Either way, this Jaunt ended up being kind of like a shoujo manga. I was an Infiltrator this time again, so that made it easy. Despite all of the tropes, it's...very Japanese, so that made it easy. Are the Trumps anime fans...? Either way, it was kind of a refreshing break.

And Chizuru-san and Hijikata-san got married! It was the most wonderful thing, and I'm so happy for them! Hijikata-san will take good care of Chizuru-san, I think. He'd better, anyway! And it was nice seeing everyone stay relaxed a little...

Anyway, there were a lot of people who needed their love lives sorted out, and Leonardo-san came up with a plan. We stole as many of the confessions as we could, even if I felt bad for taking them--but I think it was for a better cause. Levi-san helped too! I knew he was really nice, even when he looks grumpy. But anyway, I think we managed to get some of them to the people who needed them, and that was good...

I also talked to PSYCHENet-chan, who apparently was a Trump. She marked me for the Lovers...Tim-san explained it a bit to me. But even so, she didn't seem bad, I think. Someone who likes spring, and roses, and the color red can't be that bad... I'd like to talk to her again.

Liminal Space

Liminal Space after that was a little crazy...there were a lot of people there, and I saw Ukyo-san again. I saw Shin too! But then they both disappeared not long after... This is where I found out what the Lovers means, too. It's one of the Major Arcana in Tarot, I guess. He said it stands for "choice, maturation, temptation, doubt, romance, reunion, and harmony". I don't know if that means I'm like that, or... what, but...

I guess there's a lot I don't understand. Tim-san brought up ways to maybe get into contact with the Trumps, so... maybe I can talk to PSYCHENet-chan again. I'd at least like to find out if she's okay.

After that, Liminal Space changed to be a creepy place... there were bones on the shelves, and dead faces in the water. Everyone seemed to be caught up in their memories, and I can't blame them for it. I found Levi-san there, and he told me about the people in the water. I promised I would remember them, so... just in case I ever forget again, they were Petra and Auruo and Urd and Gunther, and they were Levi-san's precious people.

After that, we ended up trapped in animal enclosures, and things... Sabetha-san helped me learn how to pick locks better. It's not...like I'm doing it to steal things, so it's okay, right? Besides, I was able to help some people, so that's good enough for me.

Jaunt

This Jaunt was...really awful. I don't know that I really want to think about it, but... what if I forget again? We were in a grid...The Grid, and we were all Programs, and I was an Infiltrator...

I was a Defender. My job was to protect the Grid, and Near was my partner. But things went really wrong, and I got infected, and I wasn't helping anyone or anything, and in the end, Near had to kill me. I was awful to so many people, too, like Levi-san and Yoorae-san...

He looked sad, I think. I felt really bad for making him do that, and I still do. I have to check on everyone and apologize...